Your brain struggles trying to forget you ever had lunch on a branch and persuades you that others are better than you. Because they have a bigger wallet. Larger apartment. Bigger "tool". Intelligence overwhelms you with questions, and ignorance gives inspiration for the fictional answers. Whatever you can't feel and live to see - you invent! And then, sore from the mistake, the ego tries to recollect and learn something, but ... our conscious mind simply can't reach all those subtle vibrations that are given to us at any time, and in all we see. It is blinded by itself and somehow entangled in that endless flow of energy between people and things. The path of least resistance. As a twig on the surface of a stream.
There's that old saying, "The more you know, the more you know how much you don't know." Really, it seems there's something in us that we shouldn't even need to know. We've been alone with ourselves for quite a while as a race, so we got used to that something deep inside of us. We think it's normal to be this damn grafted. You know, that dining on a branch thing plus the god's presence in us, or whatever it is that occupies our tiny brains.
I'm wrong? Okay, all this just happened to turn out this way. So backwards-written. Backwards-contemplated. It's selfish. Okay, I'm wrong. Your value system gives you a run for your money and you start to wonder if you're really "not from this world"... or is it just vanity making you bitter? How many times have you thought or uttered the phrase "man, everyone around me is completely nuts, am I the only one left normal?"? It smacks of childish perception of life without a mirror. A life with so much as none insight of our self, since we ceased to be children who simply need nursing... Enough pain in the ass. We're all "right". That much right that we can't wait to convince everyone of that. Truth lies in the majority. The way of least resistance. You're so drenched in the habit of this truth, even if it's sometimes annoying, and it was not yours, it's still larger than you and it devours the courage to escape from it. Don't stir it up. It's not going in your favor. You're no different than the others. You only see them and their flaws and vice-versa. You're dependent upon me and me upon you because we don't have the guts to deal with ourselves. With our vanities, wallets, tools. When do I get my thoughts straight if I have to spend most of my time sweating for the machinery that keeps me alive? Our goal is the same but our plans are different, so we wander around like headless flies and get in each others way, caring only about who is right! Okay, I'm wrong...
They say smart people suffer a lot, making them troubled. Their better understanding of the world around them makes them feel more pain. I suppose those who are not smart say that. Or the ones who are? Smart. I'm not sure. I haven't met either ones, and I've met quite a lot of people :) I know that people who are not happy suffer a lot. People of all classes and beliefs, all wish to be happy, and yet all end up quite miserable. Because, you see, happiness can't be bought nor is one born with it. It is learned. It is made from beads and thread of every day life. It has remained the same since its first flicker in the human mind, free and unburdened by our cruel physics. It emerges when you water it properly and regularly, like plain gardening. I'm not talking about a simple pleasure, enjoyment and bliss after a heavy meal, sex or winning the lottery. Even the more vital things like success in career or the arrival of that eagerly anticipated newborn do not produce happiness, because it's is not a one-off thing and can't be dependent on a single flash of "lucky" circumstances. It takes time, sacrifice, and a lot of mistakes and hard times. It takes developing a broad mind, and a very short whish-list. It takes letting go of inner crutches, habits and those desires-to-be-right, and mostly, it takes strength not to let the stream carry you, and still go with the flow... tricky, right? No, not if you're doing things without always wishing for affirmation and rewards. It will not be soon when we learn how to live like that, maybe we never will... The desire to not have desires is not something we can easily grasp, and sounds paradoxical. But so does living in desperate strive for a happier life, and having almost none of that for as long as we can remember ;)
Completing the circle. Happiness. It sounds like a word. Vanity. Sounds like an angry snake that hisses poison deep into your soul. They both are, in fact, food for that soul, the ego, for all the layers of our world. Only, vanity is a weakness easier to justify. The path of least resistance. Happiness takes hard work, it takes admitting a lot of weaknesses, like drily. It takes cutting the umbilical cord between the stomach and vanity as they do with a newborn. Like drily. And then the situations that force you to think no longer feed the ego with those inherited primal urges. Happiness ceases being a word, it becomes a possibility to accept the world around us as it really is. As it always was. Unsigned and unprejudiced.
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